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To the both of you My hat is off. I know what you are going through. Im digging the same with my wife. The marriage is managed care. As i said before. Her mind is still strong but her body is gone. I do it all for her. A nursing home is still out if the question. Im sitting in my car writing because as soon as i entrr the house my next job starts.
Hang in there. Im a man handling a woman. You are women handling a man. Thats got to be hard. Im a Law Enforcement Officer and in decent shape but i still hurt from the daily lifting (and we all know therr is no day off). I was at the doctors office the other day and he flippedly asked how are you doing? I knew it was just routine. Unless you are real ‘ll y where we are you really dont have a clue.
Again my best ti you both.
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As Bill Clinton often said, I feel your pain. My wife of 44 years is also confined to a wheel chair with only use of her left arm, head and shoulders. I too have felt burned out at times and find the 18 hours of caregivers a week a welcome relief. We did invest in a ceiling lift, walk-in shower and comfort level toilets which has been extremely helpful. We also found a portable lift that allows us to take vacations. I too struggle with her “directions”. Many differences are just man versus woman but, her need to control those things that she used to do, and the way she did them, has caused many “discussions”. We continue to work through the differences and hang on to the positives which include family, friends and a forgiving Father. I did find the book Joni and Ken by Ken & Joni Eareckson Tada helpful. She has been a quad since the age of 18; he married her at age 30 and the story is one of struggle throughout their marriage. They have been married 30 years.
thanks for your reply….my home looks a lot like a nursing home …we got a lot of handicapped equipment some from the VA because my husband was in the military he is a disabled vet….some I bought on line…I purchased a hoyer lift on amazon to my surprise it was very affordable…also got his lift chair on line…got a credit card and make payments….after his falls I could not lift him and hurt myself trying to do so..so i got this hoyer lift it is a God send ….works great for us..i knew how to work it, because I used to use it in a home for the handicapped, where I worked in activities for a short time…I put it together which if I can do it, anyone can….he has not fallen since he has his catheter in (holding urine used to turn his legs into stiff unbendable pieces of wood )he sits and he also uses his powerchair in the house now to go to the bathroom to empty his bag….the doctors never have a clue what we deal with…sometimes I do not think that they listen too well. they do not have any answers either to most of our problems..they just call them chronic problems and suggest a nursing home if I can not deal with him…but that is not an option for me right now ..I keep him with God’s help as long as humanly possible…